10 AoD-Mails

This morning I received one of those AoD-Mails. Those unwanted contacts from public administrations that not only arrive within the most stupid time frames. No, they immediately open themselves on arrival - unasked - a holographic projection unfolds, the doors of the room your are at right now instantly get locked and a strange drone appears out of nowhere, starting to emit a nasty cocktail of adrenaline raising and mind focusing microwaves that wake you up like a triple doses of a caldarian night shift drink. What comes next depends on the race and sovereignty you have to deal with. The most pleasant version is the Minmatar one. In that case its an alluringly beauty or pretty boy, depending on your personal favours. The funny thing is THEY know what you like, even if you haven't yet figured it out by yourself. It has a slight touch of a cheap red-light district encounter.



Which is much better than the other appearances. The Gallente holo mostly is a smart personal advisor guy. Someone that looks like he has to be your best friend. Sweet-talking you into confession of speeding in your Titan. The Caldari orchestrate a full-scale board of directors, instantly giving you the feeling that you have failed the association. That you have betrayed your comrades.

In my case it was a highly decorated CONCORD police captain guarded by two amarrian special ops troopers in full combat suit. Which looks a bit ridicules as they are just holograms and can't do shit. They just deliver a question which has to be answered. And if you refuse to, you simply sit there until the end of all days, either starving, laughing to death looking at the stupid specops holos or dying from pure boredom. I love Answer-or-Die-Mails.

"Master, sorry to interrupt you Master but you have this meeting you did not want to be late at, Master".

"Aye, good boy Mister Crystal Series... good boy. I am coming. Get one of my more fancy dresses ready. The brownish saturday nightfever style one, will ya?".

"Yes, ...Master".

(Recovered blog-entry from 2009)